Sitting and Thinking

I'm thinking, I should probably write more often about my goals and how I am going to achieve them. I need ways to keep my focus in the positive and my goals in the forefront of my brain so that every decision I make I think about how it will affect me overall and in respect to what I want to achieve.

In terms of eating and drinking I understand that everything that goes into my body will ultimately determine how I feel and how I perform in the gym and doing cardio. Junk in equals junk out. It seems that an unhealthy meal or a few too many libations cause me more trouble now than ever. It takes me days and sometimes over a week to get over a bad day. I can't afford to remain in recovery mode like I have for so long. Unfortunately, it seems that I am in a perpetual state of recovery especially since I routinely sabotage myself and return to habits that are less than desirable.

At times I think that I may be over-thinking things and that I should just relax. I understand how important it is to loosen up and enjoy life, food whatever. It is, I just have to find ways to reward myself that doesn't involve eating and drinking bad things. I'm just tired of beating myself down, feeling guilty then recovering it happens the same way every time.

The next time I decide to be stupid I have to stop myself and think about my goals and how I want to look and feel so that I can make the correct decision and not the easy- momentary satisfaction- decision.

I should write more whether it's here or in a paper journal and record the things that I feel and what is closest to me. It helps to reflect on my life and the decisions I have made especially when I have so mush to achieve.